From this list of real lawsuits, can you pick out the one written as an April Fools’ Day joke?
A. Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places - An Emeryville lawyer was unable to find a date using popular internet matchmaking site eHarmony because of eHarmony’s requirement that all daters must be unmarried. The lawyer, who was recently separated, sued claiming that he was discriminated against because of his marital status.
B. Full Disclosure - A parent sued the Pasadena School District for failing to release records showing whether the district imported “ringers” from other schools to suit up and march in the New Year’s Rose Bowl Parade.
C. Objects in Mirror are Closer Than They Appear - A City of Lodi dump truck driver backed his dump truck into his own car and sued the city for the damage to it. After the city denied his claim, he filed it again — this time with his wife as the plaintiff.
D. No Promotion, Big Bonus - A Sonoma County employee with a fear of public places was permitted to conduct interviews with healthcare clients by phone. After he unsuccessfully sought a promotion to a position requiring face-to-face meetings, he sued for discrimination and won $6.5 million!
E. A Big Price for a Good Deed - An orphaned family of children aged 15 to 22 sued ABC and its popular TV program “Extreme Makeover, Home Edition” for breaking their promise to provide the children a new house. The children alleged that the caretaker parents who moved into the TV house with them drove them away with insults and poor treatment.
F. Hardly Worth Hearing in Court - Apple Computer was hit with a class action lawsuit by a man who claimed the company’s iPod music player can cause hearing loss. The man’s attorney said his client didn’t know whether he’d actually lost his hearing. It was not reported whether the class of plaintiffs was limited to persons who did not know how to adjust the volume on the device.
ANSWER: NONE OF THE ABOVE! Each is real, and a warning that no matter how careful you are, you are never far from becoming a victim in the California Lawsuit Lottery. To learn more about fighting excessive litigation in California, visit www.cjac.org.